Gimmick

"An evil robot sits in an apartment, studying himself and his surroundings. The walls are bleak, the light is grayish and dull outside. A refrigerator hums gently in the kitchen, as the flicker of a television is the only distraction from his bare living quarters. The robot sits on the couch, paint peeling off the walls, and consents to immerse himself in the television's static glow.

Snorting in discontent, he changes through the few barely visible channels on the television. To be aware, he knows, was a sin in this world. He knows only to be critical. He knows only to be vain. Then he might be on the television himself...

After a few minutes of watching a television advertisement, the robot leaves the flickering screen and goes to examine himself in a mirror. The hard eyes. The swollen chest. The voice that is so gruff. They are training him to be these things. They are training him to obey. The robot glares up and down the mirror, daring it to look back. And he is, and he did.

Going back to the television, the robot sits down and stares at what he should be again. The television flickers as his eyes grow heavy. ...Going braindead... ...shutting down... ...mind-slave routine activating... ...television watching commencing...

'Coming up next, Life! What are your favorite flavors? Right here on CUL..."